Have you considered that you also need to forgive yourself?
Many of us have made errors of judgement, mistakes, been unkind or even brought about our own and others downfall with something that we may have done. Also in these days of societal judgment, such as illness, obesity, lack, and keeping up with the Joneses, we can easily find fault with ourselves, and wonder what we must have done wrong.
Often we can be the victim to our own misplaced guilt. For example, many working women feel guilty about leaving their kids, or the stay at home Mums feel guilty for not making a contribution to the household costs.
Another example is when you lose a loved one, part of the grieving process is to blame yourself for something that you may have done to hurt them or not done enough.
This is where it pays to take a good look at yourself, using your chosen method of meditation, and make sure that there is a real need to forgive yourself when you have not done anything wrong.
However, you may know for sure that you definitely did something that hurt or caused someones downfall. Only you will know the answer to this one.
Don’t forget to bear in mind what I suggest about doing a little at a time. Often this can be the easiest ones first.
In that case the procedure for forgiving yourself is much the same as forgiving others, which I covered briefly in the previous blog.
We are made up of mind, body and spirit. Unforgiveness can manifest itself in all three. Our mind can be fixated on the thing that needs to be forgiven, whether this is for yourself or someone else, which in turn can affect our physical and mental health. This in turn can break our spirit.
A simple exercise would be to visualise each component, speaking to the other. A sort of you talking to you.
Another way of doing it would be to seperate yourself into parent, child and adult. This is called Transactional Analysis. Write as if you are each of those
In our everyday lives, we usually react as if we are either one of those three. The parent could be bossy and expect you to behave in a certain way that keeps them happy. (Use what ever your perception of a parent or guardian was when you were a child.)
The child would be the one in need of some love and understanding.
The adult, would be the person reading this and understanding where each of the other two are coming from.
Then go through the forgiveness exercises and much in the same way as the mind, body, spirit assigment above, get each character to talk to the other.
It will definitely help to be using your journal and writing it down. Perhaps write a little script as if you are writing a play.
I hope that this will help. Don’t forget that you can join us in the group on Facebook, and ask or discuss anything that has come up for you here.