A New Relationship With Food.

Food Altar

My new relationship with food.

Many of you will know that I see myself as an expert on food issues and addictions to certain food.

I have written books about it and numerous blogs and even designed a workbook to help people. A lot of my work has been entitled around “What does food mean to you?”

I am an expert because I have been obsessed with food and weight issues for nearly fifty years. And that means that an awful lot of calories, pounds and food has passed my lips.

My bulimia has been anything from living on virtually nothing to eating an entire loaf of bread spread with butter and jam in an afternoon.

Seven years ago, I came across a diet that made sense to me. This way of eating helped me to break away from sugar and carbohydrate addiction, by controlling my intake of those foods.

But, it was all coming from the outside; in. Even though this diet made sense, and there was loads of support, conferences and a forum. As well as the books, recipes and menus, seven years later I have still fallen back occasionally to the old ways. I have still fallen back into the habit of being obsessed with my body weight.

In the last seven years too, I have been working on my personal and spiritual self. It has been quite a trip.

In fact, when I sometimes read the stuff that I have written, I wonder if it was me that wrote it. But at present, I seem to be in a phase where I am catching up with my own advice.

In the last two months, I have been reading, learning, studying and practising with a chap called Dr Joe Dispenza. He has written several books, but I started with one called “Breaking the Habit of Being You.”

He explains that no matter how hard we try if we don’t change our thinking and core beliefs about ourselves, we cannot change the ingrained habits of our way of thinking.

Changing our thinking has been talked about over the years, in connection with Spiritual development. We hear about the Law of Attraction, Quantum theory and the laws of the Universe.

Yet all of these will not work completely unless we are willing to meet them halfway. This can be with illness, lack, addictions, broken relationships, and so on.

JD has gone a step further and explained HOW we could change our thinking, by changing our brains.

When I started to read his books, I became aware of the large amount of headspace my food issues was filling up. I had often tried to change my thinking around several shifts that I have wanted to make in my life. But somehow there has been something lacking.

For me and countless others, Joe has hit the proverbial nail on the head.

If you want to know more, you would have to listen to him on YouTube or read his books. But basically, he works on using the brain, body and mind together, by meditation. Choosing what you want to change, you then do the meditation, and state your intention.

He explains in details why it works, and at his seminars and workshops, you can see the activity in the brain, on the EEG machines that he uses. It is all carried out scientifically and not just pseudoscience.

So, I began carrying out his instructions, and now, two months later I am finding that my attitude to food is changing dramatically.

For example, I am now eating a lot less and satisfied quicker. I am enjoying my food, and am not afraid of it anymore. When fear sets in I simply say the word “Change.”  Doing this brings my awareness to what I am doing and why. I am no longer in the fridge or cupboard wondering what to eat between meals.

I am bringing foods into the house that I would not have before. Yes, there is still a way to go with that because there are still some foods that I fear will bring on a binge. But that will change with continual everyday meditation and choose to use the word change when I find myself in the food cupboard, and I am not hungry.

Most surprising is that I find that given a choice between eating what I know is good for me, and some other food that I have banned from my diet in the past, I am actually choosing the good food.

I surrendered my anxiety over what I eat because I was still in a kind of diet trap. I was still using the diet to control me, instead of allowing my body to say what it wants.

There are probably people who are thinking, “If I did that I would be totally out of control because the sugar would trigger me off.”

I was saying that too until I decided that I wanted to change enough to make a difference in my life. In the past, I would have been afraid to let go, because the addiction was controlling me.

But now I realise that I want to have dominion over my body.  Which has not meant that I am dictating to it what it has, but because I am also respecting its needs, my body is responding with “Thank you for listening to me, I can now let you know what I want!”

And rewarding me for making me aware of the times when if I fancy something sweet, I can have it. Without the fear of losing control.

For many years I have been cooking separate meals for myself and my husband. I still do occasionally, because there are some things that he likes that I don’t.

But there have too many occasions when I have cooked separate meals, and simply do not want mine, and yet would fancy his. It dawned on me that perhaps I would be healthier if I had a little of what I have cooked for him rather than sitting down to something I don’t fancy. Why go on torturing myself, because I am afraid of food!

People with weight, self-image and food problems, have a complicated relationship with food. I have been telling myself all those years that I love food. But the constant input from various diets and slimming clubs has made me afraid of it.

We hear so much about what is good for you, or what is not so good. The media bring mixed messages to people, no wonder we get confused.

We all need to eat. We need to eat nourishing foods and enjoy them. Above all, we need “Soul Food!”

That means that we need to nourish our mind, body and soul. Eating out with friends is a good example of that. Are you eating out with them because of the food, or because of their company?

When I have been not eating particular foods in the past, I have felt almost cast aside. Now I can just eat a little of what the others eat and just be seen as having a small appetite.

Are you eating something that has been slung together for the sake of satisfying your physical hunger? Or are you eating something that has been lovingly prepared?

Yes, there are times when we are in a hurry and may turn to some fast food. But that does not mean that it cannot be nourishing.

However, I digress. The point is that I have realised a wonderful change in my attitude to food and my body since I began the meditations with Joe. It is not Joe that is making the difference, but my intention of making the change. He simply gave me the tools.

I am making good use of those tools, I know that I have a way to go, fifty years of dieting and not eating certain foods, will not be changed overnight. But the important thing is that I am now aware of what the problem has been.

If you are stuck in any area of your life and want to change it, whether that is lack, addiction, or an illness, take a look at Joe Dispenza. I am aware that he is not the only person teaching quantum, but his teachings have hit the spot for me.

Joe Dispenza has written, “Evolve the Brain.”  “Breaking the Habit of Being You.” “The Placebo Effect”.

Recently he wrote “Becoming Supernatural”, and he is touring the world presenting a workshop on it. I am looking forward to attending his London workshop on April 14th. 2018.





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Food; Friend, Fun or Foe?

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For over forty years, I considered myself a victim. To;

  • My Self Image
  • My ugly body
  • The fat on my body
  • Foods that just triggered me off
  • A compulsion to just carry on eating, even when fullSodDieting
  • Dieting to get rid of the fat and feelings of loathing
  • Calorie counting
  • Fat units
  • Food intolerance
  • Addiction
  • My fat belly

It took me nearly a life time to discover the root of why I have always had this battle. One of them being that as a child I was always being told to tuck my tummy in, and as a 14 year old I was issued with a corset to keep it in.

This message was not only coming to me from my Mother, but from my gran and also a teacher at school who was the ring leader in calling me GubGub after the pig in Dr Dolittles adventures.

I don’t blame any of them now, but I did for a long time, even of I was unaware of it.

Many new regimes of eating in our modern days, look at the physical side of control. But there is another deeper side to it all. Much like trying to run a car that keeps breaking down. Just filling it with more fuel, or a different type of fuel, will not fix the problem if it is the battery that is flat. So it is with humans. If we keep just thrusting down feelings, memories and resentment, we will never get to the root of the problem. Our batteries will always be flat.

Getting into the right place is not necessarily just about looking great. When we have an “inner” glow, we can look fantastic.

Part of my inner work that freed me up was forgiveness for all those people who gave me a false message, which I lived by.

I have had quite a journey over the years, some of it exciting, some not, but always challenging.

It is a wonderful thing to be free of the tyranny of forever worrying about my shape and my looks.

How do you go about finding that inner glow, which gives you confidence in yourself, and frees you up from the necessity of the “Forever Diet?”

I would love to hear your comments.

Either here, or perhaps on my Facebook page.





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Do You Binge Eat?




FREE 17 page Report on Binge Eating and Compulsive Eating. Do you know the difference?

Binge eating is more common that you think.

BInge eating is usually done in secret.

Binge eaters are usually near normal weight.

This last one may be a surprise to know.

Obese people are usually compulsive eaters.  Why?

A compulsive eater will usually carry on eating and just do not know when to stop, but they will usually do it in public and not feel ashamed.

A binge eater, is usually ashamed of themselves and feel out of control.

They may  also go on to become Bulimic and purge themselves by starving, or vomiting.

Have I got your attention? Want to know more? 

Just email me and request this FREE report.


I promise that you will not be put on an emailing list. 


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What You Get? Weight Control



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Just a short blog and to the point today!

This quote is used by many people in the personal developement field, but also by Henry Ford!

 So using it for our purpose here

If you have been struggling with your weight management and getting nowhere. Just look at what you are doing and see what you can change!

For more ideas on how to do that, read Design Your Own Diet and see my blogs on http:/www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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How Habits Can Affect Your Weight Management


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We all have habits. Some good, some bad and without them we would not get through our day.

Everyday habits such as which leg you put in your pants first, making your first drink of the day, breakfast, cleaning your teeth and driving to work, are so ingrained that we often have to make an effort to remember whether we actually did them. (Hope you put your pants on though!)

Habits such as smoking or the evening drink, or a snack before we go to bed are more conscious, but nevertheless can still be so engrained that we would have to be very determined if we wanted to change them.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to sit down and think of what habits you may have that could be interfering with your weight management. It doesn’t have to be a big thing just perhaps something like having a biscuit with your coffee. (I know someone who prides themselves at not having sugar in their tea, but has to have a biscuit for something sweet!) Another habit that I have come across is having a banana at bedtime because they could not sleep without one. Or it could be picking at food while you are preparing it. Or do you find yourself opening the food cupboard while you are waiting for the kettle to boil? Eating crisps while watching tv. Buying popcorn just because you are at the cinema.

There is a thought now that with repeated action you can change your habits!

We can tackle changing one at a time, by stopping it for 21 days. At the end of that, you will have changed it. But it must be consistent and if you take it up again even once during that 21 days then you must start the 21 days again.

NASA did an experiment with astronauts on a 30 day basis. The astronauts wore special goggles for 30 days, which made the world appear upside down and the wrong way around. After day 27, they started to see everything the right way around. When they tried it a second time, half of them removed the goggles on day 25 for a day, and they then had to start the 30 days again because on day 27 they still saw everything upside down.

So choose which you want, the 21 days or the 30 days. I have heard that both work, for myself I find the 21 day works.

This plan can work for both big habits and small ones. So make a choice, and it will pay off with your weight management.


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Are You Bored With Your Weight Loss Diet?


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Among the excuses for not attaining a weight loss goal, this question bears looking at a little more closely. 

There are many weight loss diets and your choice needs to come down to eating real food.

25 diets 3d cover

Firstly of course forget about counting calories, or eating low fat, or plain starvation. These three factors are NOT the way to go!

But it is good to also make your choice based on your personal lifestyle, and taste in foods. Especially when making the initial choice in the first instant.

It is also a good idea to incorporate treats occasionally. This last idea would depend on how often “occasionally” is. I am thinking of no more than once or twice a week. And if you have a problem with an addiction to sugar, be wary.

Also think about foods that you particularly like among the real food regimes and incorporate them into your plan.

Once you have a regime established for yourself, you should be well on your way to attaining your goal.

After a while though, many people start to become bored. When they first start they are fired up with a goal in mind, then after a month or so, and often even with successful weight loss, they may start to look for the old foods and habits that they had before.

There are a couple of things to think about when this happens.

Are you bored? OK; are you really bored, or are you just feeling a bit deprived of your old favourite foods?  Perhaps sitting down and getting a craving for something not on your diet.

If you are bored, then why?  Is it because you are not getting enough variety?

Variety? Mmmm’m. Have a think about what you would have been eating before.

  • Did you tend to eat the same thing every day, even if it was what you wanted?
  • Did you have the same breakfast every day?
  • Same things on certain days of the week?
  • Did your grocery trolley always look the same every week?

The point I am making here is that firstly; you do not have to be bored with eating real food!  Use of herbs, spices and imagination can work wonders. Google recipes under the names of Paleo, Harcombe, Gary Taubes, Mark Sissons, et al. and you will find lots of ideas.

Secondly. Remember that even when you are not trying to lose weight you generally tend to eat the same things, so don’t use lack of imagination be your reason for stopping the diet.

Have a good day and don’t let boredom with food take the focus off your goal!

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Is Chocolate Good With Weight Management?



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Pardon?? Did you ask; Is chocolate good for Weight Managment?

Does that seem like a silly question to ask?

There are not many people who do not like chocolate.  There is something in chocolate that gives us the same experience as being in love.

There are many positve effects with chocolate. 

Among them are;

  • It can boost the circulatory system
  • It can help reduce certain cardiovascular problems,
  • Can reduce blood pressure.
  • Boosts cognitive abilities, so could be good for helping to prevent Dementia.
  • It may lower cholesterol, although the jury is still out on this one.
  • One study suggests that it can lower BMI, what ever that may mean as BMI is not a condition but a measurement!
  • Cocao beans contain flavanoids

Serotonin levels are boosted by chocolate so that means it can help with depression and probably why it is something that people go for when they have the blues.

Now lets look at the negatives.

  • It is believed to cause heartburn
  • Theobromine is toxic to some animals, (note it says some, my greyhound ate a whole bar last year and she was fine!)
  • It can be addictive
  • Could cause kidney stones in some individuals
  • Could cause osteoporosis in the Elderly!
  • Could be there are some children who are allergic.

Well not much in the way of negative there then.

BUT!  My resource (Wikipedia) also adds that too much could cause Obesity.  So there lies the clue that we have been searching for.

So, what we have to do is eat it, but not too much. Usually about two squares a day will fetch you all the goodness mentioned above. So when you see headlines and adverts claiming that chocolate is good for you, take it with a pinch of salt, (the advice, not the chocolate)

I do know some people who will forgo a meal to eat more, because of the goodness and pleasure of eating it. It is good to eat in an emergency too if there is nothing else around that you deem to be safe for your weight management efforts.

Personally I know that I have to be careful with this one, I love it with my coffee after a meal and sometimes in the middle of the afternoon with a cup of tea, so I have to carefully monitor my intake, especially if I have find my trousers a little bit tight!

Having said that, here is a tip; If you are tempted by desert after a meal out, carry a couple of squares around with you and have that with coffee instead of the desert. That way you won’t feel deprived and you will have something to fill the gap while the others are tucking in.

One other important point of course is the sugar content. Stay away from high sugar and go for the low. Look out for anything over 70% dark chocolate! The higher the better, it goes up to 100% but that is a rare treat. 90% is the one to aim for but start with 70% and work up as you get used to the taste. 

So enjoy your chocolate but be careful.

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Judging Obesity


Do you find yourself judging people?

We tend to judge people on what we see at any given moment.  One example for instance is to think of a country lane with only the odd passing place. Have you ever been in a car and there is something coming the other way and you back the car up to the nearest previous passing place, the car coming passes you and you drive off again.

Then another car is coming the other way, so you do the manoeuvre all over again. And lo and behold as soon as you start to drive off, along comes yet another one!

Now let’s put ourselves in the driver’s seat of the third car coming towards you. He doesn’t know that you have already backed up twice so assumes that you are going to back up!

Your instinct is that you have had enough. Some drivers in the first driver’s situation just get mad and assume that the third driver knows that this is your third time backing up!  But the third driver is just an innocent person who is wondering why you are red in the face and getting mad, and is wondering what he has done wrong!  He has no clue about what has gone on before he came along.

Now think about this with someone you see who is struggling with their weight and maybe have become Obese. It is common to assume that the Obese person has never even tried to do anything about it. But next time that you see someone in this predicament it may be a good idea to just stop and think about what they may have done in the past to keep their weight under control, but have never had the right advice or information to follow.

I am glad that I have had a weight problem in my life and of the road that I have travelled to get where I am. Luckily the passing places allowed me to pull in and take stock and look at how I can change my thinking and choices in life. When I have seen people coming the other way, thinking that they know best, I have been able to pull in out of the way and let them pass, and have had to do that many times.

But now I am carrying on with my journey and know that the times that I pulled in out of the way, have been used to read, study and find out how I can show people how to find their own way through the country lanes of life and weight problems.

If you are stuck in the passing places and feel like the driver who has pulled out so many times and getting frustrated with people making judgments, (in other words the Obese person getting nowhere with their weight problems) remember that your journey is going to be full of pulling in and out to let others pass in their ignorance, but at the end of the day you will be the one who has made the journey and reached your goal successfully and you too will be able to guide others on their journey.

You have used the passing places to your advantage.

For more reading on this type of issue please go to http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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How Can I Control An Eating Binge?



The Dictionary defines a binge as; a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking aloholic beverages, etc.; spree.

Many of my readers will know exactly what an eating binge is. But may be they don’t know why they binge or if they don’t binge themselves, why anyone would!

There are all sorts of experts out there who claim to have the answers on how not to binge. Among the theories are triggers such as sugar, emotional, boredom, starvation or addiction to certain foods.

However all bingers will say the same thing. That it does not matter whether its one bar of chocolate or a whole loaf of bread (ignore the butter and jam that you ate with it!) Yes it is possible to do this, been there got the teeshirt!  It is the feeling that goes with it that makes you feel out of control.

The usual binger is one who is doing everything they can to lose weight and the mistake they make is to starve themselves. Sooner or later the body says enough is enough and before they know it the pantry or fridge door is open and in you go!

Emotional reasons are a bit more complicated, and many people eat for comfort. This takes hard work to be able to change your thinking. Platitudes about finding something else to do when you want to eat for emotional reasons, do no good what so ever when a person is just wanting to eat for comfort. But there is something that you can start to do.

Stand back and observe yourself when it happens. Don’t resist, just go with the flow and if necessary have a notepad to hand. Try to take note of when and where the feeling started. Write down your action and what you were thinking at the time. What you ate, and what the food felt like in your mouth.  And any other thing that occurs to you.

This will do three things;

1. Because you are not resisting it will soften up the process, and it will become less urgent.

2. It will give you something to focus on afterwards instead of the loathing you usually suffer.

3. It will give you some idea of a strategy for next time.

Another strategy is to delay. Promise yourself that you will have something comforting at a later time say in half an hour or so. Then if you are still in the frame of mind for a binge, then go ahead, but remembering the first strategy above.

If you are not a binger but wonder why people do it and would like to help, perhaps you may understand a bit more now, and you could help someone by understanding that it’s not something that is easily controlled and give them this strategy.

And in case anyone is wondering, it does work for me!

And you can obtain a FREE report from me about Binge Eating, by just sending me a request on my email. I promise you will not be added to an emailing list. Nor will I give your details to anyone else.






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Dear Dottie,

I have had a light bulb moment, after watching “Call The Midwife” tonight!

When I passed my full length mirror tonight I suddenly saw myself in a different perspective!

My tummy was its usual size; (round not flat). My bum was its usual size (always perceived it to be too big).  My boobs still needed an uplift!  But suddenly I felt good about my reflection.  Perhaps it is all the hard work that I’ve put in over the last few years with self acceptance beginning to have its effects.  Then I got to thinking.

My mind went back to a picture of the forties and fifties. The popular TV series “Call The Midwife” honed in on these decades.  Were women a different shape then?  Or was it a case that they were more accepting of the shape they were?

The average size of women then were around the size 14/16 mark and not the 6/8 as women expect to be nowadays.

Earlier in the day I was in a store, in the city and was browsing through the special Sale items of clothing. As usual most of the bargains were in a size 6, 8 or 10.  So what does that say about sizing? To me it says that if the store is selling off its surplus stock then the ones that they have sold successfully are the bigger sizes.  Which in turn leads me to believe that most women are still in a size 12, 14 or 16.  Because funnily enough the other sizes that they seemed to have plenty of were 18 and over.

We are led to believe that the smaller sizes are the normal ones, and that is what we should be aiming for. What’s more I find that the majority are women aiming to get down to that size. Life is passing them by while they are in pursuit of trying to be smaller.

Most of these women become chronic dieters, Bulimics, Anorexics and can even develop compulsive behaviour disorders.  They become obsessed with weighing themselves, exercising and starving.  Worried constantly about what to eat or not to eat, almost hating parties, family occasions and eating out with friends.

When I saw the tiny clothes in the store, waiting for all these perfect women to come and buy them, and then looked in the mirror this evening and saw my size 14 body, I suddenly realised that I am just a normal sized woman.

I have reached a stage where I can enjoy my food without guilt or hang ups at long last. I can enjoy my Real Food, keep away from processed foods, keep my carbohydrate to a sensible limit and never have to diet again!

I would like you to know how it can be done.

Would you like to feel like that? Or does the thought fill you with horror?

Food for thought?

Love from the new me!

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