Learning The Truth, Which Set Me Free.

I am still evolving into finding The Truth works for me.

It has set me free, but still continues to evolve. The book has evolved even more in the two and half years, that it took to write it, along with me. But now we have a publishing date at last.  The description on the back of the book reads;

Finding the Truth over a lifetime freed Patricia Cherry from the narcissistic teachings of the Christian fundamentalist churches she belonged to as a child and young woman.  This is the moving story of love, compassion and forgiveness on her part for everyone concerned.  Painting a vivid picture of life as a child in the 1940’s and 1950’s and as a mother in the 1960’s and 1970’s, Patricia candidly shares her journey to freedom from indoctrinated beliefs.


I began to write this book two and a half years ago. I thought that it was done and dusted. But then life happened.

In July 2017 I was privileged to meet Vanessa Squire Kaliski, at a local meet-up of The Silver Tent, which is a worldwide group of women, over Fifty and it was still in its infancy at that time. As soon as I told Vanessa about my book, she became interested, and I sent her the first draft. She immediately sensed it’s power and how it would support other people in finding their way out of the trap of living with dogma. She was very excited about it. And so she offered to edit it, and go on to support me in the publishing.

Then at the end of August, my beloved Mum became very ill which led to her death in October 2017. At that time my brother and I became devoted to making sure that we made her end of life as comfortable as possible, which proved to be more difficult than it can seem. But this event changed how I felt about my purpose and Mum.

How was I going to do that?

I had begun that year with a Kundalini Yoga Retreat run by Jane Oppegard and Su Bear, in Glastonbury. (Shining Lights) and I felt drawn to this retreat because its purpose was to start the new year with Intention. And to bring that intention to the retreat. Mine was to be able to deal with Mum with love and compassion and not resentment and duty. It worked, and straight away on returning home that very afternoon, it was to find that Roger had already begun to look at the changes that were necessary to Mums welfare.

It proved to be a challenging year, and somehow the timing for publishing The Truth was not right.

So having given myself three months or so, to digest the events of losing Mum and evolving even more into the Wise Elder-woman that I am, I added an epilogue at the end of the original book.

 The Universe has my Back.

At the beginning of 2018, my husband became ill, and for the rest of 2018, we were focusing on his health, and for me to adjust to being a caregiver. And so once again the book was shelved.

However, through life’s events, I have learnt that The Universe has my back. When I can surrender, (not always easy) things will fall into place. I had believed that the book would be published in November 2018, but there was yet another lesson for me to learn before I could take the step of showing the world that it is possible to free.

I began to realise that it’s normal to have down days as well as up. I learnt an alternative way of seeing depression. I now call it deep rest, for except for people who are medically and chronically depressed, it’s normal to need to rest and recuperate at times. Our bodies will dictate to us when we need to rest,, and if we ignore those signals and carry on, we can become ill. Most importantly, I realised that I was making it worse by beating myself up for being depressed when I was supposed to be free! Which was a leftover feeling from the days when the churches that I belonged to, taught us that it was a sin to be depressed, irritable or angry! I had internalised that and lived under that spell for most of my life. In the jargon of the upbringing I had, I was not a good witness for the Lord.

I learn about the need for forgivenss and love. 

I realised that the book was not so much about my life, the hurts, the fear or the resentment, but more about how I learnt the need for love, forgiveness and recognising that deep down I had always known the truth. I am the Universe. I am free, and I am good enough. I am a spiritual being spending time on earth to experience being human. Most of all I don’t need fixing! Which is the message of the Christian churches that I belonged to as a child and young adult.

Somewhere along the line, I took out a sacred contract with the people who have been so much an influence in my life, for every experience. Some of those experiences were painful; some were joyful. But they were all part of my learning.

How did I see the truth at last?

Most of all I’ve realised that we all need to know from the heart what our truth is. And not from what we are taught.

Yes, books and teachers will come along to help us in our seeking. But it’s the “Yes” moments that show us the truth.

When you are reading or listening, and you suddenly feel your heart leaping within you, that is your truth. Hence the title of my book was born.

Once we know that, then it frees us from the chains of having to obey rules, particularly human-made rules, to be good enough.

No matter what your religion, culture or background, if you feel trapped I hope that this book will show you that there is a better way.

Details for the book as follows. 

Publishing day is May 14th 2019. On that day, you can come to my Website to find out the link for Amazon kindle. It will be FREE for the first three days. If you feel so inclined, I would be very grateful if you could write a review, the more reviews I get, the more Amazon will promote the book.

After a while, (hopefully not too many days)  it will be available on a print to order basis, and you can also buy a signed copy from me for £10. + £2.50 for Postage and packing. Keep an eye on my Website for the latest developments. To order a printed signed copy please contact me on my email address, to be found on my website.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Liberated. Free.

One morning last week I woke up feeling incredibly liberated and the title of my new book came immediately to mind.

The Truth Has Set Me Free is about how I found freedom from the shadow of  Christian Fundamentalist teachings.

Don’t get me wrong. This article is not an attack on any particular religion, or even on the variety of churches and denominations within the Christian Religion. It is more about the psychological effects that the dogma of some of these denominations can have on people, and my story in this book is about how it affected me and two previous generations.

In my book I have written about how I broke the chains of those beliefs and freed myself up so that my children would not, in turn, inherit the anxiety and depression that comes from believing that you can never be good enough. And that God is a God of love and not fear.

I found a book which described what I was taught. 

I have been reading a very interesting and eye-opening book called The Darkening Age. By Catherine Nixey.  It is about the destruction of Greek and other classical arts and philosophy in the first five centuries.

Last month I wrote a blog called “A Heretic?”

https://patriciacherrylifecoach.com/2019/02/03/a-heretic/

In it, I pondered over whether, it is more important for all of us to realise that “I am who God created me to be, and GOOD ENOUGH.”

But it took me the whole of the first forty years of my life before I began to realise that.  I had been indoctrinated with being unworthy, and a sinner who would go to hell unless I was “Saved” and lived as a Christian.

I was led to believe that all other religions and beliefs were false, and I must not even read about them, because that would damage my faith.

I spent the last week, reading and listening to The Darkening Age with mixed emotions. Crying, laughing and angry at times.

Angry, because the book describes in detail the damage, slaughter and persecution that Christians imposed onto those who would not become Christians and be baptised. We hear a lot about how the Roman Empire was persecuting the Christians, but very little is said about the far greater slaughter on the Christians part.

I cried because I felt it was so sad that people were taught that way and did not have a choice, such as we do these days.

I laughed at times at what they used to say and believe and found it incredulous that some fundamentalist churches still teach that.

Quote “As preachers in the fourth century started to warn congregations, Gods all-seeing gaze followed you everywhere. He didn’t only see you in the church; you were also watched by Him as you went out through the church doors; as you went out into the streets and walked around the marketplace or sat in the Hippodrome or the theatre. His gaze followed you into your home and even into your bedroom – and you should be in no doubt that He watched what you did there too.” End of quote.

That quote brought back some pretty painful memories for me when growing up.  It was exactly like that. I was not allowed to move without being reminded that God was watching me. Or warned that if I was going anywhere, that I was to consider whether I could take Jesus with me. Imagine how it felt, having this hanging over my every move.

In the preface of my book, I tell how it is similar to the Christmas song, about Santa.

“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better be good I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.”  Except that for me it was a case of “God will judge you and if you’re not “Saved” you will go to Hell.

Another quote from The Darkening Age; “To allow another person to remain outside the Christian Faith was not to show praiseworthy tolerance. It was to damn them.”  End of quote.

That quote reminds me of the time when as a teenager, I found myself having to stand outside the NAAFI building in Plymouth telling them how wonderful it was that I was a Christian — and do this humiliating task in the belief that I needed to share the good news. I must add that being a Christian did not mean culture for us Pentecostals, but a born again Christian, living every moment of our lives, being a witness to bring others to the Lord as well as having to be aware that this angry God was watching our every move.

I felt angry that so many people still have those beliefs and try to impose them onto others.

Have things changed I wonder?

The only difference (and it is a vast difference) is that these days we would not be killed for refusing to become a Christian, but we would be living under the threat of a judgment day when we would be judged and sent to Hell and damnation if we don’t “Get Saved.” Either when we died, or when Jesus comes back again.

I want to believe that things have changed since I was part of this setup sixty years and forty years ago.

I would like it if I discovered that God’s love is more in the light these days, and not an angry God who is out to destroy the people He created, no matter what they believe.

So much of The Darkening Age reminds me of the attitude from born again Christians. And I can see that these teachings have come down through the ages, even to today’s Fundamentalist groups.

I think that the Jesus we read about in the Bible, would be shocked at how humans have taken His teachings far from what He Said. They certainly lost the most important one, which is love, accompanied by forgiveness.

There is so much more I could tell you about this book, and the writer Catherine certainly seemed to have done her homework!

A group on Facebook for discussion. 

I am looking forward to a group of us on Facebook which I intend to start, discussing this without fear of anyone preaching at us. Therefore it will be an application-only group. For anyone who would like to ask questions, or has been involved, or affected by what I am saying here. Also, I would like therapists and healers to belong too with their contribution.

See you again soon.  And please comment if you would be interested in joining “The Truth Has Set Me Free” group.

The book is getting nearer to being published, hopefully in May. There is no link yet, but there soon will be. Watch this space.

Recommended reading.

The Gospel Of Inclusion. by Bishop Carlton Pearson. 

Leaving The Fold by Marlene Winnell 

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Am I Really a Sugar Addict?

Am I really an addict?

Just to make it clear, for many years I considered myself a Carbohydrate and sugar addict.

But just recently I have become aware that sometimes I enjoy certain foods. And perhaps I need to be kinder to myself. However, there is more behind the addiction than meets the immediate attention. So for example, an addict to alcohol may never be able to have just that one drink. Or the drug addict can never have just the one fix.

The word addict is used commonly in the 21st Century, and I am beginning to think that it just may be too common.

Let’s start with the Wikipedia description of addiction.

Addiction is a brain disorder characterised by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.

The most frequent addictions and those who do the most harm, because they affect people around them too, leading to crime for the individual who needs their fix; are alcohol, drugs and gambling.

But we now use the word addiction to many other things. Such as sugar, food, internet games and so on.

But do you think that there are certain words that have become distorted from their true meaning? Are we giving the name to certain behaviours that are really quite harmless, and is only a desire for something nice, particularly for certain foods or our favourite computer game. Is the word addiction becoming overused?

I know that addiction can begin with not just liking something, but finding that it gives us a high, and we are more aware now of making sure that we don’t become addicted to certain activities. Even reading books has become something to be wary of. How often do you hear people say that they are addicted to reading, running, walking, exercise, and many healthy and useful activities?

Words can mean different things to different people.

Take the word “Diet”.  It simply means eating regime. So we are all on a diet!  But this word has now taken on negative connotations. Because we now know that slimming diets are futile, and we need to simply change our eating habits.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have written a lot about “not dieting”. I have three books on the subject on Amazon Kindle. And there are many blogs about it on my website. http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com.

I am the first to say that dieting is futile and that healthy eating for a lifetime is the best way to go. But the point I am making here is that we have made “diet” almost a dirty word.

So I wonder whether we are doing the same with the word addiction?

Are we too worried that behaviour, or liking something means that we are becoming an addict?

Let me give you an example.

Recently a friend said to me that she has started to have a scone in the afternoon for her tea. And followed this with the words “I’m becoming addicted to them.”

Then a few days later the same friend said to me that I (meaning me) am becoming addicted to oatcakes. That was because she had heard me say often lately that I love humous and oatcakes and often have that for my lunch.  But it was my reaction that startled me. I immediately went on the defensive and said that actually I had made the packet last a month!

Why did I do that?

Because I have been struggling with addictive behaviour around food all of my life, and now that I consider that I am mostly in control (another word that has negative connotations for addicts and dieter alike) I felt that she was being unfair and insinuating that I was an addict. But her remark was not meant to be derisory.

I see a society that is making us into victims, using the word addict to control our behaviour. We stop kids from enjoying games on the computer because we fear addiction. (I do believe that needs to be limited of course, but we need to think more about why.)

We are beginning to feel guilty if we eat cake in public. And many find themselves using words such as good, bad or too much cholesterol, or worry that they are becoming addicted.

We are still in the grip of not eating saturated fat, and the biggest sellers in supermarkets are still low-fat products. Even though it was proved two years ago that it is not harmful unless processed. Natural yoghurt, butter, olive oil, and other saturated fats are good for us. But in my generation, there are many sick people who lived on low-fat products for a very long time in the belief that they were doing the right things. Better to eat the grey, dull, so-called healthy margarine than butter which tastes good and does you good.

But I digress. I wonder how many of us deprive ourselves of the occasional treat of cake or a scone because we fear addiction.

After a lifetime of dieting, and feeling guilty over eating certain foods, and fearing that people will think I am an addict, I have been pondering recently about whether I really am an addict to certain foods, or whether I simply like them.

I must admit though that I need to watch myself. Because the occasional treat comes around to more than just occasional, I easily pile on the pounds. But, is that really addiction? Or do I just need to be more careful?

I haven’t got the answer of course, because I still have to control what foods I have in the house because I know for sure that sooner or later I would eat them all. Probably in one go!

But I count myself Free. That means that I have learnt what freedom really means.  If I want a scone when I am out, I have one. If I need painkillers to dull the constant pain of Fibromyalgia, I will take them. If my husband needs strong painkillers at times, it is a comfort to both of us that we have the ones that work.

I might reiterate here about the advice we have been given down through the years about what foods are good or bad for us. The debacle with eggs twenty years ago led people to believe that they should not have more than two eggs a week. That was eventually disproved.

We all know the one about red wine and how the advice changes from day to day in the press.

Cholesterol is also a sworn enemy.  But did you know that the body needs cholesterol?  It is our friend. And no, it won’t be controlled by diet. Yet we have been conned into believing that we should keep the levels down. But the older you are, the higher your cholesterol is naturally. It is the body’s way of healing. Yet authorities are hell-bent on making even the frailest of us keeping our cholesterol levels down.

In case you are wondering why I say this, listen to Zoe Harcombe talking about it. She was the woman who wrote the paper three years ago, on Saturated fat, and led to a lot of media cover about Butter not being harmful.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=s3lFH4_Ws7A

And what does Society use to make us believe all this? Fear! Pure and simple. And the word Addict is a very useful tool for them.

So am I an addict?  Well up to now I have said that I am, but now I believe that I simply love refined carbohydrates, but I need to limit the amount that I eat.

I also love games such as Colour by Numbers, and also Solitaire on my computer. Recently I have been playing them and listening to audio-books at the same time. But all that means is that I have a desire to do that to help me relax. I just need to be careful that I do not spend more time than is sensible, to prevent me from doing the other things that I love.

So, perhaps we need to be aware of how much we deny ourselves the things we desire, by worrying about becoming an addict.

But please don’t see this as carte blanche for having anything you want, to the detriment of your wellbeing. I am only sharing my thoughts, not teaching!

If you want to know more about the way to find what diet suits you as an individual, try this;

design your own diet https://patriciacherrylifecoach.com/2014/09/07/design-diet-toolbox/

 

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A Heretic?

 

A Heretic?

I have not written a blog now for some time, but today I feel from the soul that I need to write this.

Am I a heretic?

I have written a book called The Truth Has Set Me Free, and there has been a delay in publishing, for many reasons, the most recent one being that God knew that there was a Post-script to be added.

And now, I have just finished reading a book called Beneath a Heretic’s Wings.

In The Truth Has Set Me Free I share the experience of growing up in a Pentecostal Fundamentalist family and church. And how that upbringing in no way prepared me for what was to come in later life.

An outcast?

I always felt an outcast. I never felt like one of them while in the church, yet was afraid to say anything or leave. On the other hand, neither did I feel at home in the other world because I had been taught that I was separated from other people because I was “Saved”. That I had given my heart to the Lord and therefore I was better than everyone else.

The book “Beneath a Heretics Wings,” is written by two women who were right there in the path of the persecution handed out to a man called Carlton Pearson, who is featured in the Netflix film, Come Sunday.

He is a Pentecostal Bishop in the USA, and until the year 2001 went along with the teaching that there is a hell and only those who are “Saved” would not go there.

To quote Carlton’s words, “The whole world is saved, they just don’t know it.”

He believes from the heart that we are all saved. That God loves everybody, no matter what race, creed, religion, belief or otherwise. And that a loving God is not going to send anyone to Hell.

I first came across his book with the long title GOD is not a Christian, nor a Jew, Muslim, Hindu ….. and with the subtitle, God dwells with Us, in Us, Around Us, as Us.

He has also written a book explaining his convictions, called The Gospel of Inclusion.

I had already started writing my book The Truth, and Carlton’s words blew my mind and my heart.

Where is the love of God?

Now two years later I have just finished Beneath a Heretic’s Wings. And I am shocked at the testimony of these two women, who stood by him, Cassandra L. McLellan and Teresa L. Reed. The way that the Pentecostal Church treated Carlton and those who stayed with him was abysmal.

I am shocked that Christian people could not show the love that God has for themselves, and yet they could not share it with someone who had the guts to speak out. He was a Pastor of a church of Five thousand or so people, and after being cast out, was preaching to one hundred and fifty people. He lost everything, including friends and money. But he never lost his love of God, or anybody else.

And he was accused of being a Heretic and a False Prophet.

He has now slowly recovered, and is gracious, forgiving and loving to everyone, and is preaching the Gospel of Inclusion – everyone is included in God’s love, and not just those who are “saved”. You can see him on YouTube.

Time to be authentic

So, I have decided that it is time for me to speak out.  I am aware that when my book The Truth Has Set Me Free comes out, there will be some who are dismayed that I seem to have given up my faith. I have already had a close friend and a cousin who have written to me about my lost eternity (another way of describing Hell). Their emails are preachy, and they believe that only what the Bible says is right.

They forget that the word ‘hell’ is rarely seen in the Bible. And that if I or anyone else wants to prove a point, they can always find something in it to support their point. That is the secret of the Bible and why it has always been a best seller. And may I say; why it has always been an inspiration to so many. I thank God that I live in an age, where we can check it out and not just listen to what we hear from the pulpit, both in the history of how it was written and the content. Something that we all need to do.

Time to be of courage

The book Beneath a Heretic’s Wings has made me realise that it takes some courage to be a Heretic, but if that is what I am in certain people’s eyes, then so be it.

Heretics in days gone by were killed, burnt at stake, tortured and so on. So I must admit that I don’t know if I would have been brave enough to be one in those circumstances. But in the 21st Century there is a Spiritual shift, and I am glad that I am part of it.

There will be more blogs to come of this nature, and there will also be a Facebook group based on The Truth.  I do not claim to know all the answers, but I know that The Truth for me has been a wonderful, soul experience. It has changed me, I am always at peace, even when I become distressed, or depressed, or seemed to have got something wrong (depending on who’s eyes are judging that last one).

One of my specialist subjects on my Website, blogs, and Facebook groups is “Ageing With Vitality” so I was particularly interested when I came across this quote from The Gospel of Inclusion.

“The first thing that goes when you begin to think is your theology. If you stick too long to a theological point of view, you become stagnant with no vitality.”  OSWALD CHAMBERS

patricia cherry lifrecoach

That is so true, because just listening to the preacher and not studying and finding out for yourself, is a cop-out. I have been studying and researching for myself for the last twenty-five years or so, and have come to see the Truth for myself.  And what is more, I will continue to be openminded, loving and accepting of people from all backgrounds, and all belief systems. And I will give them the respect that I hope they will give to me.

Therein lies the peace of God

I know for sure that I am free from all the trappings of the fear of hell, and not being good enough. And I am loved by God.

Do you sometimes wonder whether you are a heretic?  Or perhaps you may still want to be a Christian, but don’t want all the trappings of an old doctrine that has misrepresented what a true Christian can be.

Have a look at this.

https://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/10/21/the-kind-of-christian-i-refuse-to-be/?utm_campaign=coschedule&utm_source=facebook_page&utm_medium=John+Pavlovitz&fbclid

I think that I fall somewhere in between. But does it really matter? That is what the Gospel of Inclusion is all about.

I’d love to hear your comments. But please refrain from preaching at me. We are all in this together.

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Don’t!

This message seems to be the mantra of our everyday lives. What is left I wonder?

Don’t; eat meat; eat wheat; use straws; use plastic cups or bottles; eat saturated fat; use glitter coffins; use paper; be buried in a council cemetry; eat anything unless its organic; eat processed foods; eat dairy; eat too much; drink alcohol; eat sugar; take too many supplements; take drugs even as medication; use fresh air sprays; eat too much carbohydrate; eat too much protein; be vaccinated; vaccinate your kids; have chemotherapy treatment; use any product that comes packaged in plastic; buy from Amazon; use a kindle; throw anything in the bin that can be recycled; drink bottled water; eat fish from the contaminated sea; and on and on and on.

Let’s all go back to the start of the twentieth century when we used to dream of the utopia of the future with all the things above as just a thought!

But all we have done is transferred our fear onto other things eh?

I wonder what this woman would have thought of us today? Nuff said!

 

We still live in a beautiful world and I am so grateful that I can only do my best to keep it that way.

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A New Relationship With Food.

Food Altar

My new relationship with food.

Many of you will know that I see myself as an expert on food issues and addictions to certain food.

I have written books about it and numerous blogs and even designed a workbook to help people. A lot of my work has been entitled around “What does food mean to you?”

I am an expert because I have been obsessed with food and weight issues for nearly fifty years. And that means that an awful lot of calories, pounds and food has passed my lips.

My bulimia has been anything from living on virtually nothing to eating an entire loaf of bread spread with butter and jam in an afternoon.

Seven years ago, I came across a diet that made sense to me. This way of eating helped me to break away from sugar and carbohydrate addiction, by controlling my intake of those foods.

But, it was all coming from the outside; in. Even though this diet made sense, and there was loads of support, conferences and a forum. As well as the books, recipes and menus, seven years later I have still fallen back occasionally to the old ways. I have still fallen back into the habit of being obsessed with my body weight.

In the last seven years too, I have been working on my personal and spiritual self. It has been quite a trip.

In fact, when I sometimes read the stuff that I have written, I wonder if it was me that wrote it. But at present, I seem to be in a phase where I am catching up with my own advice.

In the last two months, I have been reading, learning, studying and practising with a chap called Dr Joe Dispenza. He has written several books, but I started with one called “Breaking the Habit of Being You.”

He explains that no matter how hard we try if we don’t change our thinking and core beliefs about ourselves, we cannot change the ingrained habits of our way of thinking.

Changing our thinking has been talked about over the years, in connection with Spiritual development. We hear about the Law of Attraction, Quantum theory and the laws of the Universe.

Yet all of these will not work completely unless we are willing to meet them halfway. This can be with illness, lack, addictions, broken relationships, and so on.

JD has gone a step further and explained HOW we could change our thinking, by changing our brains.

When I started to read his books, I became aware of the large amount of headspace my food issues was filling up. I had often tried to change my thinking around several shifts that I have wanted to make in my life. But somehow there has been something lacking.

For me and countless others, Joe has hit the proverbial nail on the head.

If you want to know more, you would have to listen to him on YouTube or read his books. But basically, he works on using the brain, body and mind together, by meditation. Choosing what you want to change, you then do the meditation, and state your intention.

He explains in details why it works, and at his seminars and workshops, you can see the activity in the brain, on the EEG machines that he uses. It is all carried out scientifically and not just pseudoscience.

So, I began carrying out his instructions, and now, two months later I am finding that my attitude to food is changing dramatically.

For example, I am now eating a lot less and satisfied quicker. I am enjoying my food, and am not afraid of it anymore. When fear sets in I simply say the word “Change.”  Doing this brings my awareness to what I am doing and why. I am no longer in the fridge or cupboard wondering what to eat between meals.

I am bringing foods into the house that I would not have before. Yes, there is still a way to go with that because there are still some foods that I fear will bring on a binge. But that will change with continual everyday meditation and choose to use the word change when I find myself in the food cupboard, and I am not hungry.

Most surprising is that I find that given a choice between eating what I know is good for me, and some other food that I have banned from my diet in the past, I am actually choosing the good food.

I surrendered my anxiety over what I eat because I was still in a kind of diet trap. I was still using the diet to control me, instead of allowing my body to say what it wants.

There are probably people who are thinking, “If I did that I would be totally out of control because the sugar would trigger me off.”

I was saying that too until I decided that I wanted to change enough to make a difference in my life. In the past, I would have been afraid to let go, because the addiction was controlling me.

But now I realise that I want to have dominion over my body.  Which has not meant that I am dictating to it what it has, but because I am also respecting its needs, my body is responding with “Thank you for listening to me, I can now let you know what I want!”

And rewarding me for making me aware of the times when if I fancy something sweet, I can have it. Without the fear of losing control.

For many years I have been cooking separate meals for myself and my husband. I still do occasionally, because there are some things that he likes that I don’t.

But there have too many occasions when I have cooked separate meals, and simply do not want mine, and yet would fancy his. It dawned on me that perhaps I would be healthier if I had a little of what I have cooked for him rather than sitting down to something I don’t fancy. Why go on torturing myself, because I am afraid of food!

People with weight, self-image and food problems, have a complicated relationship with food. I have been telling myself all those years that I love food. But the constant input from various diets and slimming clubs has made me afraid of it.

We hear so much about what is good for you, or what is not so good. The media bring mixed messages to people, no wonder we get confused.

We all need to eat. We need to eat nourishing foods and enjoy them. Above all, we need “Soul Food!”

That means that we need to nourish our mind, body and soul. Eating out with friends is a good example of that. Are you eating out with them because of the food, or because of their company?

When I have been not eating particular foods in the past, I have felt almost cast aside. Now I can just eat a little of what the others eat and just be seen as having a small appetite.

Are you eating something that has been slung together for the sake of satisfying your physical hunger? Or are you eating something that has been lovingly prepared?

Yes, there are times when we are in a hurry and may turn to some fast food. But that does not mean that it cannot be nourishing.

However, I digress. The point is that I have realised a wonderful change in my attitude to food and my body since I began the meditations with Joe. It is not Joe that is making the difference, but my intention of making the change. He simply gave me the tools.

I am making good use of those tools, I know that I have a way to go, fifty years of dieting and not eating certain foods, will not be changed overnight. But the important thing is that I am now aware of what the problem has been.

If you are stuck in any area of your life and want to change it, whether that is lack, addiction, or an illness, take a look at Joe Dispenza. I am aware that he is not the only person teaching quantum, but his teachings have hit the spot for me.

Joe Dispenza has written, “Evolve the Brain.”  “Breaking the Habit of Being You.” “The Placebo Effect”.

Recently he wrote “Becoming Supernatural”, and he is touring the world presenting a workshop on it. I am looking forward to attending his London workshop on April 14th. 2018.

 

 

 

 

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Death to Dieting.

Dieting to Death?

Or Death to Dieting?

As a writer and blogger and somewhat in my everyday life, I am an expert in two fields. Dieting or not, and anything connected to death.

It suddenly struck me today that there is a sort of link between them. Take Dieting for example.

Some people get into worrying so much about their weight that they do indeed die. That is the case with the psychological disease anorexia. This dangerous condition is often started with the desire to be thin and develops into a full-blown fear of food, any food.

But I would like to point out at this time of the year especially, that it is time to put dieting to death or rest.

It is the same every year, isn’t it? Feast until you drop over Christmas and the holiday season, then go on a diet to lose weight. How futile is that?

But this trend is mostly political. Do you think that you would indulge so much every year if there were not so much temptation? Do you think that you would feel the need to diet if you did not see the adverts to diet, by the same people who gave you all the foods that tempted you in the first place?

Isn’t it time to be able to make your own choices, and let your body tell you what it wants, rather than be thrown off course by all the conflicting advice out there?

How did we get here? How did we become a society that is led by the Food giants and corporations to eat the foods that are doing the damage?

Because I too was a victim of this sort of thinking for forty years, I have written two books on these subjects. I am now into my sixth year of taking control of my diet thinking, and even though I have not been perfect, I reckon myself to be an expert in the subject.

And if I can get the technology on Amazon right, they will both be promoted FREE from January 2nd for three days. I will post another blog when they are available, but for now, can I Ask you to ponder over what I have said?

Meanwhile, if you are in a hurry, you can buy them. Or of course you can browse and see what they are about and wait until January 2nd.

They are;SodDieting

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B011L100OC

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011L100OC

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

HunterGatherer_Patricia_Cherry_health_fiverr_weight_loss

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BUGTBE8

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BUGTBE8

 

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AMD Constant adjustment.

 

As many of you know, I have the condition known as AMD (Age-Related Macular Degeneration)

I won’t go into the details of the condition; you can google it for that, or look at previous blogs that I have written.

I like to write about my experience, for people to understand it, both in the carer’s capacity and the sufferer.

As soon as people are diagnosed with this condition, life becomes a challenge.

Firstly the acceptance of it. Sad to say, many consultants or ophthalmologists, don’t understand that when they use the words, “There is no cure, and nothing that can be done I’m afraid” (which many people who have the condition have experienced,) it frightens people badly. They panic, they despair, they wonder what is going to happen and I have had people say that they could not stop crying for days afterwards.

Secondly, life takes on new challenges.

For this blog, I will take just these two, as there are much more in our everyday lives.

The first one, scary as the consultant’s words are, they are not as final as they may sound. Yes, there is no cure at present for AMD, but there could be in the future. But there is so much help, and support that in reality, the consultant’s words should be something like “There is no known cure at present, but as long as you don’t have any other conditions, you will not go blind. And there is plenty of help and support out there for people like you. Let me introduce you to a way to start.”

You could then be led down several routes.

(The information in this blog may not be suitable for other countries, but I hope that it will lead you to see that there is support, and you will find out from the US group.)

So now to the second point from above. Life takes on new challenges.

Yes, it does indeed. Firstly there is the challenge of acceptance. I am not saying that there is never any hope of a cure, but at the time of writing there is not. I have had some people sending me links about treatments that they have had, and it may have worked for them, but scientifically there is no cure.

I have also had suggestions to me that it is emotional and maybe there is something that I am not seeing in my life that needs to be sorted. Someone even suggested that all illness is emotional. I am not dismissing that idea, and yes, I can go along with that, but AMD is a mechanical breakdown, and it needs to be managed until there is a better way. Much the same as managing any other breakdown in our body.

If the emotional side of it grabs you, then, by all means, look at it. If it works for some, I would dearly love to hear about it. Not theory or hearsay, but testimonials of your own experience.

But I am talking to people who don’t think that way, and just want support for their condition. To know how to learn to live with it, and make the most of their new lives, with AMD and hear about how others manage.

So, back to the challenges that AMD can present themselves in our everyday lives. Well, there are many;

  • Learning how to manage gadgets, books etc., by adjusting the font sizes.
  • There are plenty of hearing tools, such as audio books, and your local library will help.
  • Having some visual identification such as a white symbol symbol-canecane, so that people will understand if you are taking a long time in the supermarket queue or getting on and off the bus.
  • Finding ways of continuing your hobbies. With suitable lighting and magnifying tools.

Those are just some of the aids that help. You will find out more as you go along.

Then, as the condition progresses, you may have to make more adjustments.

Up to now I have managed to continue my hand sewing and have been making some quite intricate items. But in the last two weeks, I have realised that I need to find an alternative. I can no longer manage it. I am currently struggling to make my last cushions after doing them for a few years. That is an adjustment. A challenging one, but by being tenacious, I realise that I can make crochet items instead because crocheting is a more tactile activity.

red cushions  (2)

That is just one example. Other examples may be, changing your room around so that you have plenty of lighting or shadow where it’s needed. For example, you may find the TV is better in another part of the room or your chair.

I am finding that my life is enhanced by having this condition. I am starting to work in a local group who do courses for people with visual limitations, and from this, I am making many new friends. I also belong to the local Macular Society group, and sometimes I almost ache with laughter at seeing the funny side of everything.

I have great pleasure writing about the condition because not many people who have it can do that for one reason or another. That way I feel that life still has a meaning and purpose.

We can all adjust to anything in our lives. Most times it is fear that prevents us from seeing that. Whether it is illness, disability, job loss, losing a partner or someone special in our lives and many other life events.

I am not saying that it is easy, I know from personal experience what it is like to be depressed after or during a life-changing event. But what I want to share is that in the end with a positive mindset, and being grateful in our everyday lives for the things we take for granted; it can be done.

I hope that reading this will encourage many people not to despair when diagnosed with AMD. There is much to hope for, and all is well. Just keep making those adjustments and enjoying life. It is possible.

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What Do You Fear About Ageing?

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What is it about ageing that frightens people most do you think?

What do YOU fear most in old age?

I would love to hear from you about your fears and what you think could be done about it.

People blame the Government, their relatives, their offspring or their parents just for starters. It is their perception that;

The Government, don’t do enough to help.

Their relatives don’t care.

Their offspring is too busy.

Their parents; because of the legacy of beliefs, and the way they were brought up.

Have you ever considered that you can change all that?

Have you ever considered that actually the ball is in YOUR court and that actually if you change the way you think, it could change the outcome?

If you are already in a situation where you seem to be at the hands of all the people and situations I have mentioned, then could you make it your desire to help those who are coming behind to learn by your mistakes?

If you are coming up to retirement or consider yourself a YOUNG older person, i.e., Baby Boomer, could you still change the way that you think and make your older years vital and creative? You too could help people to realise that one doesn’t have to be a victim in your older years.

I have just been reading the book “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill again. Alongside that I have been listening to an audio of Wayne Dyers, “Wishes Fulfilled”. Both books teach you how you can change your thinking.

Although these books were written for entrepreneurs, and indeed “Think and Grow Rich” is, there is a lot in them that would help you to change your thinking and enrich your lives in all areas, not just money.

Certainly in your approach to your older years. Whether you are rich or poor, you do have choices in how you think. Thinking is energy and energy is the stuff of which the Universe is made.

Think about it!

We all make choices in life. We all think.

What can you change about the way that you think?

In the next blog, I will give you some examples of how changing the way that you think, can change your health, your outlook on life and can bring you joy, peace and happiness, right where you are now no matter what your circumstances.

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http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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The Ageing Adventure.

happycherry_coverI thought today that I would give you some idea of where I have been and where I am going, and why I believe that I can support people in their own ageing adventure.

I started working with older people forty years ago as a care assistant in residential homes, having realised that I had a vocation for that.

Through that, I learnt what makes people in general tick and observed the different ways that people age. Some strong and cheerful even through great adversity, and others bitter and twisted and very difficult to care for.

This implanted in me a desire to make sure that I would not go into my own ageing with unforgiveness and lack of a loving attitude towards my fellow humans.

I opened my own care home after a lot of hard work, passing social services inspections, having converted and painted and decorated, and furnishing a house from scratch, while still working on a night shift. Getting about four hours of sleep a day, over many weeks.

I left the caring profession after a very difficult personal experience with divorce and loss and then meeting and marrying my second husband. But still found myself caring and supporting Elderly neighbours

I also gained experience of the middle age population and enjoyed observing them, by becoming involved with the WI as president of my local meeting, and also did two years on the Cornwall Executive commitee.

At the age of 67, I was introduced to Life Coaching, which in turn led me to realise how much I loved learning. I had not had much oppurtunity at school and left at the age of 15, then married at 19, and went on to having three children and was “just a Naval Housewife”.

I had been led into Life coaching by a friend who was impressed with how healthy I was, and had kept my weight under control. She was convinced that weight management would be a good way for me to go, under the auspice of Life coaching. So I went to University, part time, at the age of 67. 

Because of my backgroud of bingeing and dieting for over forty years, I felt right about this. I then went onto writing books about the subject and designing a website.

Ageing With Vitality

Then someone spotted that I was a good ambassador for ageing well. At the age of 70 I joined Damsels in Success, which is a personal development group for business women.

So I turned my interest to Ageing with Vitality.  

And here I am. Long story-short.

So what now then?

I have recognised that people who are ageing are often operating from a place of fear. Fear of ageing and fear of dying.

So the next few blogs will be about these subjects and to explain my next steps in the adventure of supporting people in these areas.

Watch this space.

Namaste

life journal

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