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Learning The Truth, Which Set Me Free.

I am still evolving into finding The Truth works for me.

It has set me free, but still continues to evolve. The book has evolved even more in the two and half years, that it took to write it, along with me. But now we have a publishing date at last.  The description on the back of the book reads;

Finding the Truth over a lifetime freed Patricia Cherry from the narcissistic teachings of the Christian fundamentalist churches she belonged to as a child and young woman.  This is the moving story of love, compassion and forgiveness on her part for everyone concerned.  Painting a vivid picture of life as a child in the 1940’s and 1950’s and as a mother in the 1960’s and 1970’s, Patricia candidly shares her journey to freedom from indoctrinated beliefs.


I began to write this book two and a half years ago. I thought that it was done and dusted. But then life happened.

In July 2017 I was privileged to meet Vanessa Squire Kaliski, at a local meet-up of The Silver Tent, which is a worldwide group of women, over Fifty and it was still in its infancy at that time. As soon as I told Vanessa about my book, she became interested, and I sent her the first draft. She immediately sensed it’s power and how it would support other people in finding their way out of the trap of living with dogma. She was very excited about it. And so she offered to edit it, and go on to support me in the publishing.

Then at the end of August, my beloved Mum became very ill which led to her death in October 2017. At that time my brother and I became devoted to making sure that we made her end of life as comfortable as possible, which proved to be more difficult than it can seem. But this event changed how I felt about my purpose and Mum.

How was I going to do that?

I had begun that year with a Kundalini Yoga Retreat run by Jane Oppegard and Su Bear, in Glastonbury. (Shining Lights) and I felt drawn to this retreat because its purpose was to start the new year with Intention. And to bring that intention to the retreat. Mine was to be able to deal with Mum with love and compassion and not resentment and duty. It worked, and straight away on returning home that very afternoon, it was to find that Roger had already begun to look at the changes that were necessary to Mums welfare.

It proved to be a challenging year, and somehow the timing for publishing The Truth was not right.

So having given myself three months or so, to digest the events of losing Mum and evolving even more into the Wise Elder-woman that I am, I added an epilogue at the end of the original book.

 The Universe has my Back.

At the beginning of 2018, my husband became ill, and for the rest of 2018, we were focusing on his health, and for me to adjust to being a caregiver. And so once again the book was shelved.

However, through life’s events, I have learnt that The Universe has my back. When I can surrender, (not always easy) things will fall into place. I had believed that the book would be published in November 2018, but there was yet another lesson for me to learn before I could take the step of showing the world that it is possible to free.

I began to realise that it’s normal to have down days as well as up. I learnt an alternative way of seeing depression. I now call it deep rest, for except for people who are medically and chronically depressed, it’s normal to need to rest and recuperate at times. Our bodies will dictate to us when we need to rest,, and if we ignore those signals and carry on, we can become ill. Most importantly, I realised that I was making it worse by beating myself up for being depressed when I was supposed to be free! Which was a leftover feeling from the days when the churches that I belonged to, taught us that it was a sin to be depressed, irritable or angry! I had internalised that and lived under that spell for most of my life. In the jargon of the upbringing I had, I was not a good witness for the Lord.

I learn about the need for forgivenss and love. 

I realised that the book was not so much about my life, the hurts, the fear or the resentment, but more about how I learnt the need for love, forgiveness and recognising that deep down I had always known the truth. I am the Universe. I am free, and I am good enough. I am a spiritual being spending time on earth to experience being human. Most of all I don’t need fixing! Which is the message of the Christian churches that I belonged to as a child and young adult.

Somewhere along the line, I took out a sacred contract with the people who have been so much an influence in my life, for every experience. Some of those experiences were painful; some were joyful. But they were all part of my learning.

How did I see the truth at last?

Most of all I’ve realised that we all need to know from the heart what our truth is. And not from what we are taught.

Yes, books and teachers will come along to help us in our seeking. But it’s the “Yes” moments that show us the truth.

When you are reading or listening, and you suddenly feel your heart leaping within you, that is your truth. Hence the title of my book was born.

Once we know that, then it frees us from the chains of having to obey rules, particularly human-made rules, to be good enough.

No matter what your religion, culture or background, if you feel trapped I hope that this book will show you that there is a better way.

Details for the book as follows. 

Publishing day is May 14th 2019. On that day, you can come to my Website to find out the link for Amazon kindle. It will be FREE for the first three days. If you feel so inclined, I would be very grateful if you could write a review, the more reviews I get, the more Amazon will promote the book.

After a while, (hopefully not too many days)  it will be available on a print to order basis, and you can also buy a signed copy from me for £10. + £2.50 for Postage and packing. Keep an eye on my Website for the latest developments. To order a printed signed copy please contact me on my email address, to be found on my website.

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Liberated. Free.

One morning last week I woke up feeling incredibly liberated and the title of my new book came immediately to mind.

The Truth Has Set Me Free is about how I found freedom from the shadow of  Christian Fundamentalist teachings.

Don’t get me wrong. This article is not an attack on any particular religion, or even on the variety of churches and denominations within the Christian Religion. It is more about the psychological effects that the dogma of some of these denominations can have on people, and my story in this book is about how it affected me and two previous generations.

In my book I have written about how I broke the chains of those beliefs and freed myself up so that my children would not, in turn, inherit the anxiety and depression that comes from believing that you can never be good enough. And that God is a God of love and not fear.

I found a book which described what I was taught. 

I have been reading a very interesting and eye-opening book called The Darkening Age. By Catherine Nixey.  It is about the destruction of Greek and other classical arts and philosophy in the first five centuries.

Last month I wrote a blog called “A Heretic?”

https://patriciacherrylifecoach.com/2019/02/03/a-heretic/

In it, I pondered over whether, it is more important for all of us to realise that “I am who God created me to be, and GOOD ENOUGH.”

But it took me the whole of the first forty years of my life before I began to realise that.  I had been indoctrinated with being unworthy, and a sinner who would go to hell unless I was “Saved” and lived as a Christian.

I was led to believe that all other religions and beliefs were false, and I must not even read about them, because that would damage my faith.

I spent the last week, reading and listening to The Darkening Age with mixed emotions. Crying, laughing and angry at times.

Angry, because the book describes in detail the damage, slaughter and persecution that Christians imposed onto those who would not become Christians and be baptised. We hear a lot about how the Roman Empire was persecuting the Christians, but very little is said about the far greater slaughter on the Christians part.

I cried because I felt it was so sad that people were taught that way and did not have a choice, such as we do these days.

I laughed at times at what they used to say and believe and found it incredulous that some fundamentalist churches still teach that.

Quote “As preachers in the fourth century started to warn congregations, Gods all-seeing gaze followed you everywhere. He didn’t only see you in the church; you were also watched by Him as you went out through the church doors; as you went out into the streets and walked around the marketplace or sat in the Hippodrome or the theatre. His gaze followed you into your home and even into your bedroom – and you should be in no doubt that He watched what you did there too.” End of quote.

That quote brought back some pretty painful memories for me when growing up.  It was exactly like that. I was not allowed to move without being reminded that God was watching me. Or warned that if I was going anywhere, that I was to consider whether I could take Jesus with me. Imagine how it felt, having this hanging over my every move.

In the preface of my book, I tell how it is similar to the Christmas song, about Santa.

“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better be good I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town.”  Except that for me it was a case of “God will judge you and if you’re not “Saved” you will go to Hell.

Another quote from The Darkening Age; “To allow another person to remain outside the Christian Faith was not to show praiseworthy tolerance. It was to damn them.”  End of quote.

That quote reminds me of the time when as a teenager, I found myself having to stand outside the NAAFI building in Plymouth telling them how wonderful it was that I was a Christian — and do this humiliating task in the belief that I needed to share the good news. I must add that being a Christian did not mean culture for us Pentecostals, but a born again Christian, living every moment of our lives, being a witness to bring others to the Lord as well as having to be aware that this angry God was watching our every move.

I felt angry that so many people still have those beliefs and try to impose them onto others.

Have things changed I wonder?

The only difference (and it is a vast difference) is that these days we would not be killed for refusing to become a Christian, but we would be living under the threat of a judgment day when we would be judged and sent to Hell and damnation if we don’t “Get Saved.” Either when we died, or when Jesus comes back again.

I want to believe that things have changed since I was part of this setup sixty years and forty years ago.

I would like it if I discovered that God’s love is more in the light these days, and not an angry God who is out to destroy the people He created, no matter what they believe.

So much of The Darkening Age reminds me of the attitude from born again Christians. And I can see that these teachings have come down through the ages, even to today’s Fundamentalist groups.

I think that the Jesus we read about in the Bible, would be shocked at how humans have taken His teachings far from what He Said. They certainly lost the most important one, which is love, accompanied by forgiveness.

There is so much more I could tell you about this book, and the writer Catherine certainly seemed to have done her homework!

A group on Facebook for discussion. 

I am looking forward to a group of us on Facebook which I intend to start, discussing this without fear of anyone preaching at us. Therefore it will be an application-only group. For anyone who would like to ask questions, or has been involved, or affected by what I am saying here. Also, I would like therapists and healers to belong too with their contribution.

See you again soon.  And please comment if you would be interested in joining “The Truth Has Set Me Free” group.

The book is getting nearer to being published, hopefully in May. There is no link yet, but there soon will be. Watch this space.

Recommended reading.

The Gospel Of Inclusion. by Bishop Carlton Pearson. 

Leaving The Fold by Marlene Winnell 

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More about The Truth Has Set Me Free.

 

 

In the next few weeks, my book “The Truth Has Set Me Free” will be published.

Although I recently posted a synopsis about it, I thought that perhaps I could add a few more thoughts.  So here goes.

Many of you have seen that synopsis that I sent out on the week beginning 15th October 2018, and there has been a great response to it, with many pre-orders coming in.  For which I thank you.

Firstly a little more about what the book is about and not.  I have had one response from a person who said that they would not want to read the book if it is a rant about the Pentecostal church. It is not. What it is, however, is the story of how the teachings of Christian fundamentalism, including other denominations, damaged my judgements and my self-image, right up until the age of forty. And how these poor judgements had dire consequences. Resulting in Divorce, bankruptcy and succumbing to two con men.

I take sole responsibility for those bad decisions and do not in any way blame the church. The story is all about forgiveness and love, both for myself and for those people in my life, who may have hurt me.

Just like anyone else in this human experience, I had choices. There are many people who are happy with the teachings of those churches, and I will not say who is right and who is wrong. Just like me, they have a choice.

Secondly, it is a picture of my childhood in the forties and fifties. I grew up in Cornwall and Devon in the UK.  At this time, the UK, as well as other countries, were still recovering from the second-world-war, and there was a tremendous sense of lack. But we had freedom and the countryside was not so far away as it is these days with towns and cities expansion.

I describe the games we played and the many hours of enjoyment exploring the woods and fields, And I also describe the mischief I got up to which got me into a lot of trouble.

Jumping ahead to my teens, that freedom was curtailed. Thanks to misunderstandings and my Mothers and the church I belonged to at the time, intransigence and being influenced by what I see as narcissistic teachings, which the family adhered to in every way.

Then I became a very young bride, and at the age of nineteen moved away from home to a new city. Because I had been taught that the world was a nasty, frightening place and I should keep away from it, I was very naïve. And unprepared for real life. I became homesick, depressed and began bingeing on food for comfort.

These feelings were to stay with me until the age of forty or so. Then at a very difficult time in my life, someone said to me “You need to ask yourself, who is Trish and where is she going?”  At the age of seventy plus now, I am still evolving, but can see more clearly that I am good enough and that is one reason why I wrote: “The Truth Has Set Me Free.”

Since becoming a Life coach and studying what makes people tick, I have seen what had been amiss in my life. But life had changed for the better after a divorce, loss of all my worldly possessions and a new marriage, to a well-read man.

The point of the book is that I want people to understand that they can change. And with that change comes new perception.

It is now twelve months since my Mother died, and I finished the book a few months later, having had new insights into why my Mother had been so myself unhappy in life.

Since then I have not only done more reading and learning, I have applied the truth to my life and freed myself up from the bounds of depression, bingeing on food and the feeling of abandonment and not being good enough.

At the time of writing, I am taking care of my husband as he ages and succumbs to vagaries of illness and ageing. And I can do it with joy and compassion, thanks to the grace and love that I know flows through me. And knowing that the past is in the past, and I am truly living in the present, in the “Now”.

I would like you to read this book with an open mind, remembering what I said here about love and forgiveness. I do not have any bitterness or issues with anyone who chooses whatever beliefs or teachings they want to, except in the case where they impose those beliefs onto others.

The Dalai Lamma once said that doing that is a form of abuse.

If you want to read the book, and own a signed copy, please would you support me by making a Pre-order. This means that I will send you one the moment I receive them from the publisher. You can do this by bank transfer, Pay Pal or cheque.  The amount is £10 Please email me or contact me on Private Messaging on Facebook. trishcherry734@gmail.com

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Birthday Blog. Wizzdom. The Truth Has Set Me Free

On my birthday this year, I can truly say that “The Truth Has Set Me Free.”

Life in my older years is proving to be the very best ones of my time on Planet Earth. I am healthy; I am living in Abundance, I am loved, and I am full of the joy and peace that passes all understanding.

Like everyone else, I do have adversity and challenges along the way, and at times I doubt and fear. But I know for certain that everything is here to help me. And underneath it all, I know that the Universe has my back.

I have my new book coming out very soon now. Publishing a book is a long drawn out process, but I promise that it will be here in the next couple of months.

“The Truth Has Set Me Free” (the illustration above has one word change, because its a draft copy of the cover) is a story of how I was brought up in a Christian Fundamentalist faith. It describes my upbringing in the fifties, my engagement and first marriage at the tender age of sixteen and nineteen respectively.

There was fun as a child, and that fun is described in the book, including the games we played and the physical freedom of children in the nineteen fifties.

But as I got into my early teens, life became lonely and experienced an isolation which lasted for many years.

I describe how the fundamental upbringing had affected two previous generations. Which resulted in heartache, narcissism and for myself late adolescence at the age of forty, having not had one as a teenager.

The truth for me has come about since I saw the light at the age of forty, which like many other women, was followed by Divorce. But I was also conned out of thousands of pounds because of my naivety, became bankrupt and lost everything I had ever accumulated, including a large business, houses, my dogs and furniture.

But the fact that everything is sent to help us is so true. I met a wonderful man, who became my second husband, and he set me on the road to learning. In the last twenty-six years since I met him, I have developed a thirst for knowledge. Part of my upbringing was that knowledge was not important. The main aim in life was to be saved and get to Heaven which carried on into my first marriage and becoming totally immersed in those beliefs. That meant that many books that threatened to reveal anything other than the teaching in those churches were banned.

Then in 2011 at the age of 67, I studied at University to become a Life coach.  The learning there opened up a whole new way of seeing life.

All along, the Truth was setting me free from the bondage of the past, and the chains that had bound me to the belief that I was not good enough.

Now, I have reached a point in my life that is another transition. From the rush and pressure of being the best, and having to work at it, I can now trust wholly in the Divine.

Just before I left any established church, I had what I realise now was a light bulb moment, when I told other Christians, that the teachings of the church limited God. I realised that God was the Universe and everything around us. But fundamentalist belief attempted to trap God into a set of beliefs, a building, a set of people who thought they knew better than anyone else. Most of all that only Christians and “Saved” ones at that; could inherit the Kingdom. They taught and still do, that there is an Apocalypse coming and only Christians would be saved from that because they would be taken up into the air to meet the Saviour. Known as the Second Coming.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I should give it a miss!

What I know to be the Truth, is what I had said then, without all the knowledge that I have accumulated since then. There has had to be a lot of forgiveness on my part, both for others, and myself.

The book has taken me over two years to write, and in the last year, the end of the book took on a life of its own, describing my Mothers death and how my brother and myself at long last understood why she had such an unhappy life.

Simply because she had never allowed herself to be loved, both by God and her beloved husband, my Dad. And in turn us and anyone else who wanted to show any compassion for her in her last days. She never understood that; We are all one; we are all part of God; we are all equal; we can all become conscious of those facts, and we are all loved. That love is a vital force; stronger than faith or hope.

We are all created to be the person we are, without having to be saved again by the same being who created us.

God is bigger than having to send someone to die, to correct the mistake he made when he created humans.

I have not accumulated a fortune; I do not live in a mansion, I don’t even own a car. But I feel as if I have riches beyond measure.

I feel quite amused now when I hear people who already have more than enough money say; When I win the lottery I will ………………………………….

I feel as if I have won more than the lottery. Because I know the Truth and it has set me free.

By the way, you may be wondering why the new word “Wizzdom” is included in the title of this blog. It is my new brand name, to cover all the hats I wear in supporting people. My specialities are; Weight and Food Management, Ageing with Vitality, Facilitating end of life planning and I am a Funeral Celebrant. I think that word “Wizzdom”, suggested by a friend, just about covers the wisdom I have gained over a lifetime of experiences and adventures in living.

 

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Don’t!

This message seems to be the mantra of our everyday lives. What is left I wonder?

Don’t; eat meat; eat wheat; use straws; use plastic cups or bottles; eat saturated fat; use glitter coffins; use paper; be buried in a council cemetry; eat anything unless its organic; eat processed foods; eat dairy; eat too much; drink alcohol; eat sugar; take too many supplements; take drugs even as medication; use fresh air sprays; eat too much carbohydrate; eat too much protein; be vaccinated; vaccinate your kids; have chemotherapy treatment; use any product that comes packaged in plastic; buy from Amazon; use a kindle; throw anything in the bin that can be recycled; drink bottled water; eat fish from the contaminated sea; and on and on and on.

Let’s all go back to the start of the twentieth century when we used to dream of the utopia of the future with all the things above as just a thought!

But all we have done is transferred our fear onto other things eh?

I wonder what this woman would have thought of us today? Nuff said!

 

We still live in a beautiful world and I am so grateful that I can only do my best to keep it that way.

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Patronising?

Have you noticed this word is becoming more common every day?

“Don’t you patronise me!”

“I feel patronised.”

Are just two of the most common.

 

But what is the real meaning of the word and where are we taking it out of context?

Over the last few decades, even the dictionary has changed its mind.

In the Oxford Dictionary from 1980 the definition is;

pa’tronize. v.t. 1. Act as a patron towards, support, encourage. 2. Treat (person, thing,) as if with consciousness of one’s superiority.

But in 1996 from the Oxford dictionary it became;

patronize v.tr. (also –ise) 1. Treat condescendingly. 2. Act as a patron towards. 3. Frequent (a shop etc.) as a customer.

For me, the first definition makes sense for the real meaning of the word.

Let me illustrate with a story.

Someone I know who runs a business mostly online had a customer who complained about a product that he sells continuously and is an expert in that product.

When he went to great lengths to explain the nature of the product and why something had developed, which to the customer appeared as a fault, she accused him of patronising her.

But he was simply carrying out his side of her patronising his business. He was superior in his knowledge of the product.

But, we have now developed the habit of using the second definition. Many times when people mean well, such as giving up their seat on the bus, or helping someone in some way, many of us decline that help because we see it as being treated condescendingly.

If being patronised then;  is someone giving up their seat for me, or helping me on with my coat, or asking if I am ok, I don’t mind being patronised.

Perhaps we all need to ask ourselves in what context we are using the word. The next time we feel “patronised,” are we feeling condescended to? If someone gives up their seat for you, are they coming from a position of superiority? Or kindness?

The world is becoming a place where many people seem to be on the defensive. You may say this is because Planet Earth is becoming a very dangerous place to be.  Maybe true or it may not be more dangerous than it ever was. But we do seem to be feeling that we are living on the edge of a precipice.

But how about being the change you want to see and start with making a change in your corner of the world? There are all sorts of things we can change and to be aware of some of them is a start.

Perhaps the original use of this word in our vocabulary will be the first step. Because once we are aware of peoples true motives and don’t immediately go down the road of being or feeling “Patronised” we can help to spread a little kindness. In turn that will lead to us all to not being afraid of showing kindness, for fear of being accused of patronising the other person.  

 From little acorns mighty oaks do grow. 

DSC_0079

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Food and Diet Books FREE.

Hi there folks. Do you want to change your life with these two FREE books? 

Do you wonder why you get drawn in every year to the mad mad feasting over Christmas, then Fast or starve for the New year?

Every year is the same isn’t it? Beginning around the first of December, it is “Eat drink and be Merry, for January 1st; we DIET!”

How many of you are swearing that you will never do it again? That you will go on a diet to end all diets, and never put on weight again.

But there is a way out of this never ending cycle. Where you can enjoy your food; all food, but understand your body and what it really wants.

These two books will set you on the path of freedom from dieting. They will also point out why we are all in this state of health in the twently first century. How to sort out the conflicting advice, and decide for yourself, with some knowledge of why you are in the trap, and what is best for you. It seems that every writer, club or expert, claims that their diet is the way to go. But these two books will make you become aware of why we behave as we do around food.

They are not special diet books, nor do they tell you what you should eat. They simply inform you of the politics of Dieting and also how food has evolved into the state it is in now.

Once you become aware of how you are being driven to eat the foods that you know are not contributing to good health, then you are on the track to food freedom.

Just to let you know that as promised these two books are FREE on Amazon for the next three days, starting today 2nd January.

Happy Reading.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B011L100OC

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011L100OC

SodDieting

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BUGTBE8

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BUGTBE8

HunterGatherer_Patricia_Cherry_health_fiverr_weight_loss

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Death to Dieting.

Dieting to Death?

Or Death to Dieting?

As a writer and blogger and somewhat in my everyday life, I am an expert in two fields. Dieting or not, and anything connected to death.

It suddenly struck me today that there is a sort of link between them. Take Dieting for example.

Some people get into worrying so much about their weight that they do indeed die. That is the case with the psychological disease anorexia. This dangerous condition is often started with the desire to be thin and develops into a full-blown fear of food, any food.

But I would like to point out at this time of the year especially, that it is time to put dieting to death or rest.

It is the same every year, isn’t it? Feast until you drop over Christmas and the holiday season, then go on a diet to lose weight. How futile is that?

But this trend is mostly political. Do you think that you would indulge so much every year if there were not so much temptation? Do you think that you would feel the need to diet if you did not see the adverts to diet, by the same people who gave you all the foods that tempted you in the first place?

Isn’t it time to be able to make your own choices, and let your body tell you what it wants, rather than be thrown off course by all the conflicting advice out there?

How did we get here? How did we become a society that is led by the Food giants and corporations to eat the foods that are doing the damage?

Because I too was a victim of this sort of thinking for forty years, I have written two books on these subjects. I am now into my sixth year of taking control of my diet thinking, and even though I have not been perfect, I reckon myself to be an expert in the subject.

And if I can get the technology on Amazon right, they will both be promoted FREE from January 2nd for three days. I will post another blog when they are available, but for now, can I Ask you to ponder over what I have said?

Meanwhile, if you are in a hurry, you can buy them. Or of course you can browse and see what they are about and wait until January 2nd.

They are;SodDieting

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B011L100OC

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B011L100OC

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

HunterGatherer_Patricia_Cherry_health_fiverr_weight_loss

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01BUGTBE8

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01BUGTBE8

 

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A Time to Give and Receive

Christmas giving.

 

It is more gracious to give than to receive. Yes? Is this what you were taught and always believed?

I hear people say; “I love shopping and buying stuff for Christmas presents. I love to see their faces when they open them.”

But have you ever thought that it could work the other way around?

Ask what this would mean for you.

Say it; “It is more gracious to receive than to give.”

Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Did you realise that it can be just as gracious to receive as it is to give?

How can that be?

Well, what does it feel like to you when you want to give someone something, and they refuse to accept it?

It can be a compliment for example. “I love that dress.” “Oh this old thing, I think it’s horrible, but I have to wear it to keep the peace.”

Or; A present that you have shopped carefully for. And the person just tosses it to one side and doesn’t even thank you on Christmas morning.

Or; A neighbour or friend who you see is in need. You may offer to help or do something, but all you get is a rebuff such as “I can manage quite well thank you.”

Or; You offer someone a seat on the bus for all sorts of reasons. And they say “No thank you. I’d rather stand.”

Sometimes you can end up feeling foolish, hurt or that your gesture was something that you will think twice about in the future.

My experience of working with people in need, such as Older people, sick people, Mums trying to take care of the kids, has shown me how important it is to know how to receive.

Older people can be so obstinate, and many of us have to stand by and wait for the disaster waiting to happen. Sick people can be in denial of anything being amiss and will resist any attempt to persuade them to see someone who may help them.

Mums taking care of kids can be so independent and think that they know best. Even when others can see the struggle and just want to support them.

Yes, it does depend on how they are approached. Yes, sometimes it can be seen as interfering. But I wonder how many times we think that someone is interfering, or being patronising, but we would be so much better off receiving the support and making our lives more comfortable and making their day a pleasant one because they know they had a chance to give something.

I have decided that I am going to make life easier and more pleasant for those around me as I grow older. Accept what support there is, ask for it if necessary.

One reason why I have decided this is because I know many people who are struggling with taking care of their parents, who in turn just keep saying that they are all right. Even down to the point of not allowing much-needed carers to come into their homes, and will just shut the door in their faces.

And then, phoning their children to say that they need help.

Have you heard of the story of the drowning man at sea? His boat overturned and he prays to God for help. Along comes a helicopter and the man sends it away, saying “No God is going to help me!” Then along comes a lifeboat and the same happens again.

The man drowns, and when he gets to heaven, he complains to God that he had prayed for help, and why did God let him drown. God replies, “I sent a boat and a helicopter, what more do you want?”

I heard a story about a Buddhist centre and the head monk was very old and ill. Everyone enjoyed taking care of this gracious old man, and he allowed them to, he accepted all the care he needed and died peacefully knowing that he had given to his carers, by receiving the love and care that he needed.

So, remember this Christmas, that you can receive support, gifts, help with the shopping and cooking. Even if it does not seem to be happening, don’t just feel sorry for yourself, but ask for it. I am sure that if you swallow your pride, those around you will be only too delighted to help and support. And by receiving that support you, in turn, will give them the pleasure of receiving and giving at the same time.

It works all ways you see. It is just as gracious to receive as to give.

Happy Christmas everyone and I hope that you will see the blessings of both giving and receiving this year.

 

 

 

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MD Conference 2017 Report.

 

MD conference 2017

 

On Saturday September 16th 2017, I attended the Macular Society conference in London with my daughter.

Right from the time we stepped outside the Tube station, I was astonished at how well they were organised. As we stopped to look at our maps of the location of the conference, we spotted two people in yellow teeshirts with Macular Society on them. Every hundred yards all the way to the hotel, on every corner, there were more yellow teeshirted people many with flags to attract our attention.

We were greeted at the Hotel by warm friendly volunteers and shown where everything was. Including coffee and pastries.

The exhibitions were many and helpful and as we entered the main conference room, my daughter remarked that she was impressed by the 600 people who were proactive and not just sitting back and being visually impaired.

At 11 am the conference began with a welcome speech. Followed by three speakers. The first gave a simple illustration of the mechanics of AMD, using a packet of biscuits as an example. When the lowest biscuit in a packet is stale, it crumbles and disintegrates. This is what happens in our eyes, and the cleaning cells wear out and crumble. (Not absolutely accurate, but that is the gist of the talk.)

The next speaker was a consultant from Moorfields who was more scientific. And due to restrictions in time he had to speak very fast. But he gave examples of the many experiences of how AMD can progress, both from the patients point of view and the consultants. He also said that while we question why there are so many cases now, we need to bear in mind that we have an increasingly ageing population. Our bodies are not meant to last that long! Which you can agree with or not.

The third speaker gave a talk on Charles Bonnet syndrome. People with AMD can hallucinate. Some hallucinations can be dangerous, for example one may see a brick wall in front of them that is not there. But there could be the day when there really is a brick wall!  There can be clouds of butterflies or people with odd clothes or shapes. They reckon that it is the brain compensating for the loss in sight. There is research going on about this, but no answers yet. However, at question time a woman in the audience said that, she had had hallucinations for some time, but since she had developed another age related disease they had faded away, and she wondered whether there was a connection and the brain was now concentrating on the more serious disorder.  The Speaker was very interested to hear about this and was going to talk to her more afterwards.

At 1pm, we broke for a delicious lunch of rolls, sandwiches, wraps and fruit. Coffee was in full flow all day long.

After lunch we went to the workshops of our choice. We went to the one on supplements and nutrition. Very interesting. The best thing that you can do with supplements is to study the AREDS reports. I will do a seperate blog about supplement and AREDS in a couple of days.

As far as food was concerned, eat the rainbow, which is what I have said in other blogs before. Include lots of veg, the darker the better, and fruit also darker the better. Red meat, (not processed) is good, especially liver.

It was emphasised that once we have MD all we can do through food and supplements is to slow down the process. But that if we take on a healthy lifestyle early in life AMD along with a lot of other diseases can be delayed if not eradicated. I will add that I believe that even if we do go on to have any disease, if our bodies are healthy in the first place, we stand a better chance of recovery or at least we help our bodies to fight it.

It was also emphasised, how much smoking can damage the eyes.

So for those reading this that don’t have AMD, bear in mind that it is another reason to live healthily.

We then went back to the main conference room and heard another speaker on the latest research. They are now in a position where they can announce success with two people who have received stem cell surgery.  Their eye sight was quite bad but they have now said there is an improvement. There are now another five waiting for surgery. It will be about five years though before they will be putting this treatment out for the public. Even then, at the moment it will only be available for the most suitable criteria.

I could not help but wonder what will happen when NICE get hold of it!!

But, my daughter who stands a big chance genetically of getting AMD was encouraged by the day and learnt a lot about how to lessen the chances of it happening. Especially the amount of time and money that is going into research and finding a cure.

There was an awards ceremony for the best team within Eye hospitals, kindest and most helpful Opthamologist, and the various volunteers within and out of the MD Society.

All in all a wonderful day, and all for less than £25 I must add.

I for one am going to become a paid up member of this marvellous society. You will see their leaflets and booklets with loads of information, in yellow and black enlarged print in the Eye departments of your hospitals. I have come accross their literature in my capacity as a volunteer for my local Guild, Improving Lives. I also belong to one of their loca groups who meet monthly.

There is a helpline for those who are worried and want to talk to someone. And there were also the numerous volunteers who guided us to the hotel, were around with their smart black clothing and scarves or ties with the logo on them, to help and support in many ways in the conference and hotel, many of whom have MD themselves, and prove that life does not end with this condition. We can still contribute to society in a way that will encourage those who are badly affected, and prove that.

So, watch this space for lots more to come as I learn more, and experience myself what can happen in our everyday lives with AMD. Everyone experiences it differently, but it is useful to find out from others how they overcome it.

There are groups on Facebook and here are the links.

First the UK MD group for the UK.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/589067591220411/

Secondly for the USA

https://www.facebook.com/groups/amdcommunity/

I belong to both.

The Macualr Society Website is;

www.macularsociety.org/

 

 

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