More about The Truth Has Set Me Free.

 

 

In the next few weeks, my book “The Truth Has Set Me Free” will be published.

Although I recently posted a synopsis about it, I thought that perhaps I could add a few more thoughts.  So here goes.

Many of you have seen that synopsis that I sent out on the week beginning 15th October 2018, and there has been a great response to it, with many pre-orders coming in.  For which I thank you.

Firstly a little more about what the book is about and not.  I have had one response from a person who said that they would not want to read the book if it is a rant about the Pentecostal church. It is not. What it is, however, is the story of how the teachings of Christian fundamentalism, including other denominations, damaged my judgements and my self-image, right up until the age of forty. And how these poor judgements had dire consequences. Resulting in Divorce, bankruptcy and succumbing to two con men.

I take sole responsibility for those bad decisions and do not in any way blame the church. The story is all about forgiveness and love, both for myself and for those people in my life, who may have hurt me.

Just like anyone else in this human experience, I had choices. There are many people who are happy with the teachings of those churches, and I will not say who is right and who is wrong. Just like me, they have a choice.

Secondly, it is a picture of my childhood in the forties and fifties. I grew up in Cornwall and Devon in the UK.  At this time, the UK, as well as other countries, were still recovering from the second-world-war, and there was a tremendous sense of lack. But we had freedom and the countryside was not so far away as it is these days with towns and cities expansion.

I describe the games we played and the many hours of enjoyment exploring the woods and fields, And I also describe the mischief I got up to which got me into a lot of trouble.

Jumping ahead to my teens, that freedom was curtailed. Thanks to misunderstandings and my Mothers and the church I belonged to at the time, intransigence and being influenced by what I see as narcissistic teachings, which the family adhered to in every way.

Then I became a very young bride, and at the age of nineteen moved away from home to a new city. Because I had been taught that the world was a nasty, frightening place and I should keep away from it, I was very naïve. And unprepared for real life. I became homesick, depressed and began bingeing on food for comfort.

These feelings were to stay with me until the age of forty or so. Then at a very difficult time in my life, someone said to me “You need to ask yourself, who is Trish and where is she going?”  At the age of seventy plus now, I am still evolving, but can see more clearly that I am good enough and that is one reason why I wrote: “The Truth Has Set Me Free.”

Since becoming a Life coach and studying what makes people tick, I have seen what had been amiss in my life. But life had changed for the better after a divorce, loss of all my worldly possessions and a new marriage, to a well-read man.

The point of the book is that I want people to understand that they can change. And with that change comes new perception.

It is now twelve months since my Mother died, and I finished the book a few months later, having had new insights into why my Mother had been so myself unhappy in life.

Since then I have not only done more reading and learning, I have applied the truth to my life and freed myself up from the bounds of depression, bingeing on food and the feeling of abandonment and not being good enough.

At the time of writing, I am taking care of my husband as he ages and succumbs to vagaries of illness and ageing. And I can do it with joy and compassion, thanks to the grace and love that I know flows through me. And knowing that the past is in the past, and I am truly living in the present, in the “Now”.

I would like you to read this book with an open mind, remembering what I said here about love and forgiveness. I do not have any bitterness or issues with anyone who chooses whatever beliefs or teachings they want to, except in the case where they impose those beliefs onto others.

The Dalai Lamma once said that doing that is a form of abuse.

If you want to read the book, and own a signed copy, please would you support me by making a Pre-order. This means that I will send you one the moment I receive them from the publisher. You can do this by bank transfer, Pay Pal or cheque.  The amount is £10 Please email me or contact me on Private Messaging on Facebook. trishcherry734@gmail.com

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Birthday Blog. Wizzdom. The Truth Has Set Me Free

On my birthday this year, I can truly say that “The Truth Has Set Me Free.”

Life in my older years is proving to be the very best ones of my time on Planet Earth. I am healthy; I am living in Abundance, I am loved, and I am full of the joy and peace that passes all understanding.

Like everyone else, I do have adversity and challenges along the way, and at times I doubt and fear. But I know for certain that everything is here to help me. And underneath it all, I know that the Universe has my back.

I have my new book coming out very soon now. Publishing a book is a long drawn out process, but I promise that it will be here in the next couple of months.

“The Truth Has Set Me Free” (the illustration above has one word change, because its a draft copy of the cover) is a story of how I was brought up in a Christian Fundamentalist faith. It describes my upbringing in the fifties, my engagement and first marriage at the tender age of sixteen and nineteen respectively.

There was fun as a child, and that fun is described in the book, including the games we played and the physical freedom of children in the nineteen fifties.

But as I got into my early teens, life became lonely and experienced an isolation which lasted for many years.

I describe how the fundamental upbringing had affected two previous generations. Which resulted in heartache, narcissism and for myself late adolescence at the age of forty, having not had one as a teenager.

The truth for me has come about since I saw the light at the age of forty, which like many other women, was followed by Divorce. But I was also conned out of thousands of pounds because of my naivety, became bankrupt and lost everything I had ever accumulated, including a large business, houses, my dogs and furniture.

But the fact that everything is sent to help us is so true. I met a wonderful man, who became my second husband, and he set me on the road to learning. In the last twenty-six years since I met him, I have developed a thirst for knowledge. Part of my upbringing was that knowledge was not important. The main aim in life was to be saved and get to Heaven which carried on into my first marriage and becoming totally immersed in those beliefs. That meant that many books that threatened to reveal anything other than the teaching in those churches were banned.

Then in 2011 at the age of 67, I studied at University to become a Life coach.  The learning there opened up a whole new way of seeing life.

All along, the Truth was setting me free from the bondage of the past, and the chains that had bound me to the belief that I was not good enough.

Now, I have reached a point in my life that is another transition. From the rush and pressure of being the best, and having to work at it, I can now trust wholly in the Divine.

Just before I left any established church, I had what I realise now was a light bulb moment, when I told other Christians, that the teachings of the church limited God. I realised that God was the Universe and everything around us. But fundamentalist belief attempted to trap God into a set of beliefs, a building, a set of people who thought they knew better than anyone else. Most of all that only Christians and “Saved” ones at that; could inherit the Kingdom. They taught and still do, that there is an Apocalypse coming and only Christians would be saved from that because they would be taken up into the air to meet the Saviour. Known as the Second Coming.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, I should give it a miss!

What I know to be the Truth, is what I had said then, without all the knowledge that I have accumulated since then. There has had to be a lot of forgiveness on my part, both for others, and myself.

The book has taken me over two years to write, and in the last year, the end of the book took on a life of its own, describing my Mothers death and how my brother and myself at long last understood why she had such an unhappy life.

Simply because she had never allowed herself to be loved, both by God and her beloved husband, my Dad. And in turn us and anyone else who wanted to show any compassion for her in her last days. She never understood that; We are all one; we are all part of God; we are all equal; we can all become conscious of those facts, and we are all loved. That love is a vital force; stronger than faith or hope.

We are all created to be the person we are, without having to be saved again by the same being who created us.

God is bigger than having to send someone to die, to correct the mistake he made when he created humans.

I have not accumulated a fortune; I do not live in a mansion, I don’t even own a car. But I feel as if I have riches beyond measure.

I feel quite amused now when I hear people who already have more than enough money say; When I win the lottery I will ………………………………….

I feel as if I have won more than the lottery. Because I know the Truth and it has set me free.

By the way, you may be wondering why the new word “Wizzdom” is included in the title of this blog. It is my new brand name, to cover all the hats I wear in supporting people. My specialities are; Weight and Food Management, Ageing with Vitality, Facilitating end of life planning and I am a Funeral Celebrant. I think that word “Wizzdom”, suggested by a friend, just about covers the wisdom I have gained over a lifetime of experiences and adventures in living.

 

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The Culture of Death.

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The culture of death differs all over the world. Many of the rituals and rules surrounding death are for practical reasons, such as the climate, temperature, etc. Religious rules developed from these practical needs.Daisies

Human’s have been on this planet for a long time. But according to findings from archaeologists, rituals around burial, and disposal of the body has been around for all that time too.

I haven’t space or time to go into a history today; that will take another article. But I will say that in the 20th Century, death in England became taboo.

So that you can get the picture, I am going to describe four funerals.

The first one is an experience recently of a friend of mine. Grace was born in Northern Ireland. Very recently she went there to attend the funeral of a close friend’s husband.

The culture in Northern Ireland is to respect death and honour the deceased. Part of this respect in Grace’s eyes was getting up in the very early hours of the morning at 3 am, to travel to Bristol to catch a 7 am flight to Belfast.

When she arrived in Belfast, her taxi driver was very kind and reduced the fare. Not only that, but he took her back to the airport the next day. Again he saw this as respect because Grace was attending a funeral.

Since Billy had died, which was in hospital, a week before, he had been lying in an open casket in the front room of his own house, and people held what is known as a vigil. The old belief is that the soul takes three days to leave the body. But even if they no longer believe that the vigil is an essential part of the culture, and it also means that the closest family are not left alone, and there is always someone in the house, to talk, have a cup of tea with and draw comfort from.

The Mass was being held at 10 am. Before that, at the house, Grace found the coffin still open in the front room, with hundreds of cards beneath. After she had paid her respects, it was time for a final goodbye by Billy’s wife, to her husband. The wife sang a little song to Billy, then kissed him goodbye, just before the Funeral Director arrived to seal the coffin.

There was a parade of people following the hearse to the church, on foot. After a personal address, mass and service led by the priest, everyone went to the crematorium, where they enjoyed listening to Billy’s favourite Pop songs, including the Everly Brothers, before he was cremated. At the end of which everyone attended the Wake.

Funeral number 2, was an English Funeral. The same friend heard that a neighbour had died. When she asked her husband who out of the two of them would attend the funeral, he was surprised to think that Grace would even consider it. Grace, in turn, was shocked to realise that this attitude was normal for England.

She attended the funeral and found that no-one else in the street went.  There were only a handful of people there, even though this elderly couple had lived in the same street for over fifty years.

The coffin was brought to the church and paraded down the aisle to the words from the C of E funeral book. After a couple of prayers, and mournful hymns, led by a vicar who obviously did not know the chap who had died, the close family went to the Crematorium and everyone went home.

I attended a similar family funeral a couple of months ago, and the picture was the same. No sense of community, because there were only about twenty people scattered all over the church which was big enough to hold three hundred. I wanted to gather them all together and ask them to sit closer to the front. The body had been in the funeral Directors offices, taken out for a viewing at an appointed time, with an hour time slot. Then put back in the fridge until the funeral.

The vicar did not know anyone, spoke over the top of everyone’s head and was quite impersonal.

The few members of the family present went with the coffin to the Crematorium and the people in the church, just went home. Even though there would be a cup of tea at the house, the family had requested that only close family go to the crematorium. So that there was no sense of community or even a chance for anyone to pay their respects to the husband.

At the fourth funeral, everyone gathered outside the Crematorium, and the procession was led in by a Funeral Celebrant. She had been in touch with the family ever since the death.

After bowing to the coffin and placing a lovely photograph of the dead person on top, she took her place at the lectern and asked everyone to sit down.

She read some beautiful opening words acknowledging the family by name and saying a few words about death, and how everyone sees it differently.

The eulogy was read by the son of the person who had died, but it had been a joint effort with the Funeral Celebrant during an hours interview and meeting the family. The eulogy had everyone laughing and crying and reminded us of the character and life of the man who had died.

After the eulogy, everyone sang “Abide with Me,” not necessarily for religious reasons, but because Albert had been a big football fan.

This was followed by five minutes of reflection, listening to Leona Lewis singing “Footprints in the Sand”  while we all looked at a show of pictures on the screen above, of Alberts journey through life, his children and grandchildren.

The children who were present then went up to the catafalque and placed a flower on top of the coffin. Followed by those who wanted to, just to touch the coffin and say goodbye.

After a short committal prayer, the curtains were closed, and the Funeral Celebrant then closed the procedure with appropriate words including a poem about taking up the reins of life without the dead person.

We left the church to the sound of Acker Bilk!

There was then a Wake in the local football club premises.

I will leave it to you to assess what you think would give the most satisfactory way of saying goodbye and support loved ones left behind. It may be one particular funeral described here, or it may be a combination.

The moral of the story is that it is possible to do things differently with death.

The lady who founded the group that I trained with, Jane Morrell, had a vision of “Changing the face of funerals in England.”

The culture in England is one of secrecy. The body is quickly removed from the place of death, often even while it is still warm, whisked away to have “mysterious things” done to it.

We may have a chance to see it; all made up to look good, for a while at the appointed time in the funeral directors office.

On the day, the hearse turns up either at the Crematorium or the church, and there may be a good ceremony or not.

(Have you noticed the disrespect from other drivers when they see a funeral procession lately?)

This culture makes bad things even worse, and the funeral is something to dread even more, than just the saying goodbye.

Jane was inspired when she had that vision. We do need to change the face of funerals. We need a better culture of death.

If you want to read more about death, please visit my website

http://www.patriciacherrylifecoach.com

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